Currently – 10/26/19 (Health, Weekend, Restless)

Continuing my current health update the growth I thought was cancer turned out to be (at least from the doctor’s perspective) an infected gland. My treatment is some antibiotics and a warm compress to the affected area. As far as it feels the treatment seems to be working so I’m glad. Right now the pain and hardness has decreased but I still feel pain. That being said I’m definitely grateful that it seems to be working. I had my doubts but right now everything is telling me this isn’t as serious as I thought it was.

I still have some annoying effects right now. The area is really close to my lung, which was one of my major worries believing that if it was cancer it would have spread to my lungs, and as a result I keep coughing up… stuff that’s most likely come from the infected area. I’m doing my best to keep what I’m saying as not gross as possible but there’s not really much I can do. There doesn’t really seem to be any way I can get rid of this for the moment so I just kind of have to suffer with the pain and gross coughs. All things considered I much rather prefer this to lymphoma or lung/heart cancer.

I’ve said this before but that minor brush with mortality has me really thinking more about my future, more specifically about who I want to be in my future. I’m trying my best to think of this person realistically as well as respect their space. I want them to feel comfortable around me, not necessarily for the express purpose of being in a relationship with them but more so because I’m having a lot of fun with them. I think the next time I see them I’ll try to introduce the idea of getting closer to gauge how they feel. Unfortunately I have to wait another full day and a few hours before I can do that so I’ll just be sitting here thinking about the best thing to say.

Right now I kind of feel like getting on the treadmill, as weird as that sounds. My guess is that if I do some exercises then I’ll be able to potentially get this gunk out of my chest. Unfortunately I can’t do stuff like push ups because my arm is in a pretty decent amount of pain and even just using it to get off the bed hurts far too much. That being said my legs are working perfectly fine and I keep staring at this treadmill that’s just sitting here. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. The pain isn’t debilitating and the coughing isn’t getting in the way too much but if some light exercise could help me pass all this stuff by either pushing it out or just making my body stronger to fight off the infection I’m definitely all for it. Maybe before I go to bed so I can have a decent night’s sleep or a better morning not being forced to run to the trash can and gag for a few minutes. That was certainly unpleasant this morning…

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