Currently – 9/9/19 (Followers!, School, Writing)

Just a quick aside before I get into all of this. I just found out that I recently got fifty followers! This is actually really cool and I’m so glad that so many like this blog enough to follow it. I never could have dreamed of getting this many people to follow me. I know that sounds like a small number but considering I’m just talking about my life on a daily basis in what is essentially an online diary that’s pretty significant in my book. I’m really grateful to all of you for sticking around.

Today was my first day of class. I was pretty nervous and second guessing myself the entire time. I kept fidgeting in my chair, fixing my clothes and when one person talked directly to me I felt kind of weirded out because I thought I was going to be looked over this entire semester. Although my hair did look pretty ridiculous so there’s one thing. I also thought I was going to be immediately dropped from the class but… so far no! The class itself is still pretty intimidating. I haven’t talked about it but I’m training to become a medical assistant and one of the things the teacher made very clear was that not only would we be using needles but to practice we would eventually be using needles… on ourselves for practice. Okay so I’m confident enough in my ability to assist in administering or even giving myself… but the thought of having others ACTUALLY sticking a needle in me is… no.

All that aside, I’m going to really try hard in this class. It really feels like my life is moving forward and I absolutely don’t want to change that at all. Well… I mean I want my life to change for the better and I meant that I don’t want to stagnate. A lot of my fears have sort of gone away for the most part (though I still do have fears) but this really feels like my life is going to change for the better. Provided that I actually put in the work and time to do so, of course. The future is looking pretty bright now.

My theory was correct when I thought that getting into this class would help me with my writing more, in some way. In class I came up with two separate ideas for books one of which is pretty original from my own personal knowledge. In the same idea I’ve decided to put the book I was working on before on hold. I’m disappointed but I think it would be better overall. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to write at all, in fact I’ve started on something else, or that I’m ditching the book and concept. I think the previous thing I was working on was taking a lot of effort and I was stuck more often than not because I had to keep researching historical events that the story was based on. This new story is a lot more from my own mind so it should be easier to write… hopefully.

Another class tomorrow so I’m going to try and get an early sleep. I’ll do my best to make this work and actually put in effort this time. I’ve been coasting through life too much and then get mad or sad when things don’t go my way. I’m going to put my best foot forward and really make the best of this situation. I’m not being too optimistic about this and thinking that its going to be easy or absolutely a sure fire thing. I will say that given the time and proper effort this could turn into something great. And maybe more great things will come out of it as a result.

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