Currently – 9/1/19 (Disappointed, Friend, Work)

Last post I talked about how I just needed to give someone time and wait for them to come and talk to me. That was a feeble attempt to game the universe into shining down some good stuff on me for once. I had the urge to take my phone with me while I did my pre-bedtime stuff. Turns out the universe decided to give me the shaft again and I dropped my phone on the tile floor. The phone works but its now cracked and I have the means to repair it eventually should I choose to do so. Thought right now it just looks like an eyesore. Its like the equivalent of spilling wine on the carpet. You can get it cleaned but it will cost money and in the meantime its just a constant reminder of a screw up.

Unfortunately no one seemed interested in chatting with me today whatsoever. Making matters worse is I am fully aware of their reasons to not talk with me and trying to talk to them will only net silence at best or them snapping at me at worse. I fully understand and accept giving people space but does that have to come at the cost of me being lonely? I’m not asking for anything huge, I just want to chat on occasion. Its been actual weeks since I’ve spoken to either of them so this has been going on for a long time. Maybe I just need to forget about them for a bit and hope they’ll come back. If not… I don’t know what to do.

Today was maybe my last day of overtime. I’m not entirely sure as I’m thinking that I might have to do tomorrow morning as well. I’m prepared for it at least. It was easier than I thought it would be. Just an extended version of what I was already doing. Waking up earlier was slightly annoying but it wasn’t the worst and I already should be waking up earlier in general just to get in the habit for when I get a full time job. Personally I just want to go back to counting the days until I have to go to my classes. Next Monday is fast approaching.

I’ve been exercising a bit more. It feels a little better each day. I’m hoping to make more of a habit of it if possible and potentially branch out more. Right now its just a few stretches whenever the thought pops in my head. But I do it in the morning as early as I can muster so I can start my day off with a good activity. At the very least I can look to it and know I did at least one good and productive thing all day.

2 thoughts on “Currently – 9/1/19 (Disappointed, Friend, Work)

  1. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, they aren’t the only two people in the world. You should start thinking of yourself as a planet, and the moons are people who gravitate to you because you’re awesome. Right now you’re an asteroid getting pulled by everything and spinning on all axis zooming around. This can cause many issues. Believe in your self-worth, you have a lot of things to offer to a meaningful connections. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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