Currently – 8/31/19 (Work, Friend, Time)

Day 1 of my… I’m actually not sure what to call this. I think overtime is the best description. Not so bad, I guess. There were a few annoyances here and there but overall not bad. I effectively just worked my normal shift but with the extra idea of being available just in case, which I wasn’t but either way. Tomorrow I will however have to work a more unusual schedule so got that to look forward to! I’ll get through it, of course.

Nearing the end of the day I decided to text my friend. I haven’t spoken to her in a while so I was interested to see how she was doing. Unfortunately it seems like she had a bad night and wasn’t up to talking. Not sure what happened but I hope she’s alright. Not sure if I can get a hold of her tomorrow but I’ll leave it up to her.

I was actually interested in texting another person but she’s in a different time zone as well and with someone else and I’m not sure she even wants to talk to me to begin with. I sent her a message maybe more than a week ago and she still hasn’t responded. I know she’s aware of me and doesn’t seem to be completely ignoring me so… hopefully she’ll decide to speak to me soon? Ya there was a deep dissatisfied I gave out as soon as I processed that. Though I should be grateful she’s even speaking to me on occasion, I still feel really disappointed there’s this massive wall between us and I keep thinking about climbing or demolishing it but then I just kind of lose energy and sit there. Should this wall be surmounted or surpassed?

On the writing front I weirdly had the desire to do some more writing on my own. It took some time getting over one line in particular but… I finished a chapter. Neat. I think its partially because I’ve been just allowing myself time to process what’s going on as opposed to forcing myself through it. I allowed the block to naturally erode over time and it became a lot easier to move forward. Now that I write this out I’m reminded of that problem I’m having with someone else and feel weird I actually didn’t plan this out. Maybe… I just need to give it some… time? Hm.

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