Currently – 8/8/19 (Writing, Life, Changes)

Mostly standard day today, all things considered. I guess there was one thing that changed but its so small its really not bearing mentioning. I’m having some troubles sleeping at night. Its just way too hot at night even with two portable fans focused on me on their highest setting. What’s worse is that I kind of have to suffer through it. Due to… past experiences, I can’t really sleep if I’m not either completely exhausted or under some covers. Obviously its pretty difficult to be in such a state where my body just shuts down and allows me to sleep. I think its more of a mental issue where I need the security of a covering over my body. Something to discuss in therapy, I guess.

Its weird that I’m having such a decent time writing, despite having taken a bit of a break. Usually when that happens my mind sort of wanders and I can’t focus on the work in front of me. But today, and a few other days, I’ve been able to write fairly consistently though not as much as I would like. My personal goal each day is to write at least one chapter. I’ve found that its possible for me if conditions are right. I can also write uninterrupted that full chapter even without doing a normal morning routine. Now that I think about maybe I should start my morning routine and then write. I might be able to do more if I’m well fed and all of my basic needs are taken care of.

I had an unexpected text from a friend. I was happy to talk to her for a bit. With her I always feel like I can be myself, which kind of sucks because I can’t take that into other relationships. I guess its just because we’re so familiar with each other. I think at this point I’ve known her for more than a decade but its probably more accurate to say that I’ve known her for about five years. We knew of each other in school and talked on occasion but that was just the persona we put forth in front of one another as opposed to the people we really are. Not getting all dramatic or philosophical but I think you truly know someone when you’ve both seen your worst sides, or what you think is your worst.

I think after writing this I’m going to take it a little easy. I’ve got something I want to do but its not something that needs to be done. My personal philosophy when it comes to writing is to also give yourself time to rest. There’s a bunch of studies out there on how to take tests better that ultimately add up to get plenty of rest, don’t overwork yourself and have a good diet. I’ve tried writing multiple times in a day as well as right before bed and it honestly just doesn’t work. Waking up in the morning, for me anyways, and working till I can’t anymore seems to be working for me. But as I said I think tomorrow I’ll try to do my morning routine first and see if that helps.

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