Currently – 8/3/19 (Work, Time, Disappointed?)

I guess I’m kind of back into the groove of writing more so… yay! I did much more than three times of previous writing day. I guess my only problem is I wrote a character that I’m not totally sure on. I think she’s great but I feel like others might have a problem with her. Debating on reworking her but on the one side I don’t want to offend people needlessly but on the other she is… somewhat accurate to the time period but I also made it so she’s not entirely offensive when looked at in the context of the full story. Definitely shaky on this.

More work today. This job is pretty easy. I guess my one gripe is that I’m not really sure what the pay is going to be like as well as I’m basically just uncomfortable the entire time. Not in the sense of “This feels weird” more like I have to interact with others and I’m not sure how to do it right now. In any case its really easy and I can do this and its a job so… no real complaints.

I texted my friend some time ago. Actually I should say that I texted her yesterday and she was busy and said she’d come back later and then I texted her today. She was tired today so we didn’t talk. Kind of disappointed, I guess? You can really tell I’m stretching for content here. I guess something else is going on but due to my own personal fears and superstitions I’m not going to mention it. It really seems like any time I’m doing good or something good is happening in my life and I tell someone about it then it goes extremely poorly and I don’t want that to happen here.

I don’t really feel happy or sad right not. Not sure if I’m numb or just feeling sort of cautious. Like I’m trying to keep as neutral of a mood as possible so I don’t get forced into feeling bad. That’s not a great way to live but right now I feel like stuff is stable right now and there’s no need to rock the boat. Just sail smoothly on calm waters. I guess the only thing I’m watching out for is in September which is when I’m supposed to go to classes. I hope that goes well and it gives me a pleasant well paying job. I think the first thing I’m going to do with that first check is look into therapy.

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