Currently – 7/29/19 (Writing, Effort, Understanding)

While I didn’t do any work in the book I did create an outline. I was disappointed with the beginning of the last chapter I was writing. It just didn’t seem right. So to make this, hopefully, easier on myself I made out sort of a timeline. It especially helpful considering the story takes place during a real event which was my main problem. Now it, should be, less of a problem! I think tomorrow I’ll try to use it and hopefully I can get back on track.

I started shopping at a dollar store some time ago, even when I had money. Now its become more of a necessity to go there now that I lack gainful employment. I usually like to pick up a bunch of things and just keep them around so I don’t go out and spend money on fast food… as often. So today I made just a whole bunch of rice and beans. I’m getting pretty decent at it so I’m happy with that. Before all this I legitimately didn’t know how to properly make beans and now I do. Also I’ve been cooking rice a little differently. I usually just do the rice cooker easy mode type stuff but since I don’t have one with me I now do it on the stove top. I’ve also been thinking about how I can make deserts or sweets with small amounts of food and with cheaper ingredients. I think when I can afford to ruin those ingredients I’ll give it a shot.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve been acting. This is definitely not the type of person I want to be or how I want people to react to me. I desperately want people to look up to me, not in the sense of being a leader or an example but rather I’m a decent and successful person. I think what I really want most of all is to share my life with someone. But whenever I look at what I have I wonder “Who would want to share this with me?” I spend most of my time in an okay sized room slacking off, waiting for something or someone to come and change my life. I’m not saying I’m going to be proactive in finding that but I think I need to reevaluate what I’m doing, what I want and what I’m doing to get there.

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