Currently – 7/26/19 (Working, Writing, Scared)

I hesitate to say this but I think my book is going pretty well. I’m putting in a fair amount of effort, I’m forcing myself to write an acceptable amount every so often. The only reason I hesitate is because whenever something good is going on in my life or I’ve found something good it ends up turning out poorly. I meet someone great and gush about them then eventually that turns badly. I gush about a new job and I get fired. This keeps happening and I’m not sure how to stop it.

I really just want to have something good happen in my life and that’s it. No blow ups, no mishaps. Just something good. It feels like I can’t celebrate anything because eventually its going to turn. I really wish I knew why this was happening or, even better, how to stop it. This really can’t go on forever. At least I hope so.

Anyways, currently still writing. Putting in some effort, though not as much as I would like. Even so, effort is effort. Spent most of my day playing video games, again. At least I don’t feel so guilty now that I put work in before hand so there’s at least that. I have my vacation pay and I’ve been informed that this could be all that I’ll get. I can pay off my car bill a few times so I’m fine for the moment. Plus I have this temporary job on the weekends which gives me the perfect excuse not to travel to my parents’ place on the weekends which I’m also thankful for. All in all, not a bad day.

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