Currently – 7/17/19 (Sleep, Insurance, Writing)

For a while my normal sleep cycle has been immensely out of whack. This is kind of normal for me, especially considering that I don’t have a job anymore so I don’t need to go to sleep at scheduled times. At first I kind of just went with it, made excuses here and there. “I’ve been playing video games too long” or “There was a creepy picture and now I can’t sleep because I’ll have nightmares”. Last night it was really hot where I’m staying. I had to turn on both fans just to get some sleep. However this only really happened at 5 am so I think I have a problem right now that needs to be addressed.

Maybe its personal problems. It started around the time I had that fight with my now former friend. My guess is my mind just wouldn’t let me sleep until I reconciled or ended the relationship. Of course I inadvertently began to harass her, which wasn’t my intent. So then my brain wouldn’t let me sleep normally because I was fixating on how terrible I was and how I should change. This is pretty common for me to fixate on problems and lose a bit of sleep but not really to this degree. I think its a combination of a lot of factors.

Last night was my family night. My parents try to do it in an effort to stay close to my brother and I. I still don’t really like doing it because it usually ends badly or I just end up having a poor time but now its more about the free food aspect. As I’ve discussed before, my mom is trying to help me get insurance to start doing Lyft. She was convinced that our current insurance wouldn’t be up for it but it seems like it could be so I could actually start bringing in some money soon. I think after this I’m going to call and see if they’ll do that for us.

My parents like to ask me about stuff I’m working on. I think its their way of trying to foster productivity in me. Usually this goes towards what I’m writing about and I told them about my current project. They seemed somewhat interested in which was a nice confidence boost. I could definitely tell they weren’t super interested or happy with the subject matter as more often than not my explanation would have them stay silent for a few seconds then chime in. In any case I’ll do my best to actually work on it so I can post it online somewhere. I’ll link the chapters when I find the best place to put them.

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