Currently – 7/12/19 (Uncertainty, Instability, Writing)

As a last ditch effort I’ve made it clear to her that I still want to be her friend. I gave her an open invitation so that I could attempt to patch things up. So far she hasn’t responded, which I’m not surprised by. All logic tells me this is the end but there’s a stupid little part in the back of my brain still holding out hope. I think more than anything I want to right this wrong, if possible. I’m not sure if I deserve her friendship.

Today was… eh. I haven’t spoken much about my parents but my dad is currently on his death bed, suffering from a particularly aggressive form of cancer that’s robbed him of all his strength leaving him to look more like a corpse than the man I once knew. We never really had a good relationship growing up despite him being around. Today I helped him with some stuff that is better not spoken about. But its really pushed me to get out of this situation or at the very least better myself.

I had some time to be lazy so right now I’m going to try writing a book. It sounds solid in my head though I’m worried its verging on plagiarism. I’ll, hopefully, finish writing it but if the final product is something I’m not comfortable releasing because I feel its too close to the thing I’m basing it off of then I won’t release it. I think writing right now is more important that any potential money making opportunities that I could gain from it. I have to get in the mindset of exercising or engaging in the process rather than trying to rush to the finish line.

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