I guess its official. I am no longer friends with this person. And… I’m fine with it? It seems weird to say that when just yesterday I was feeling really horrible, both mentally and physically, and now that I’ve sent my final “This is over” message I’m actually okay. There’s a lot of things I can attribute to this but I want to say that I’ve grown as a person whether that’s true or not.
Looking back on it I really see that I was the person who was doing the majority of the leg work. I put in the time and effort to make sure this was working and they often ignored me, to which I made excuses for them on their behalf. I shouldn’t be holding this person up on a pedestal. This stuff has happened before so I’m used to it. However I think right now I’m just accepting it and moving on.
I’m not sure what to do now. I had a bunch of plans that, disappointingly, revolved around this person. Now? Don’t know. Still trying to find a job and all that but now I’m really not sure what my future is going to hold. But, if I’m being honest, I think its good. I wouldn’t have been happy having this person in my life and now I have more free time to devote to myself or whomever I choose. I think right now I’m going to reflect on this, try to understand how I came to this point and what I can do better in the future. I’m definitely not completely blameless and the major reason it came to this was because of me so I want to use this to become a better person.