Currently – 7/4/19 (Bored, Disappointed, Lazy)

Its Independence Day and…! I have done nothing productive. I keep trying to convince myself that I’m taking a break off for the holiday but pretty much every single day has been like this. Honestly I’m just annoyed at the lack of work every time I try to find some. Its pretty discouraging to say the least when I know I need money but all the jobs I see I’m not qualified for or they’re very sketchy.

Instead of just sitting around I decided to text my friend and she didn’t answer. Although, if I’m being honest, I just sent her a dumb joke image to test the waters on whether she wanted to talk or not. I’m disappointed she didn’t answer but I’m sure she has a good reason. I thought it would have been the perfect time to talk but I guess not. My guess is she’s busy with work so I’m not going to make a big deal out of this.

So for pretty much waking up I’ve just been playing video games. I know its not good or healthy or productive but I just don’t want to focus on all of that annoying stuff, if only for just one day. I keep looking for people to blame why this entire process is so frustrating but the buck keeps getting passed off on another thing and I don’t want to go through that circle of annoyance if I don’t have to.

Maybe I just need to be more productive. Put my nose to the grindstone, or what have you, and just do what needs to be done. I’ll try better tomorrow. For now I think I’ll just be a bit lazy. Not saying I’ve earned it, just in the sense that I don’t feel its going to be any more productive than sitting in front of a computer trying to find potential jobs but ending up finding nothing. I’ll find a way out of this soon. I have to.

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