Currently – 6/28/19 (Waiting, Anxious, Restless)

With my first project down I thought it would be much easier to start up something else. But of course it wasn’t. Its not to say I don’t have any ideas, I have literally hundreds, I just can’t put in the effort for whatever reason. I feel like I’m in a funk or something.

Of course this isn’t just one aspect of my life. I really want to talk to a friend but I always feel like I’m going to bother them. More often than not they’ll say they’re tired or something like that, which I fully get and accept. I always feel like I’m pressuring them to talk or wasting their time. I know they’re busy and I don’t want to waste their time.

Next month I was supposed to start classes that would help me get a new job but the school called me and said that not enough people signed up for the summer so now I have to wait for fall. I’m already running on fumes, money wise, and I don’t like asking my parents for money. I was going to do some ride sharing stuff but I always feel uncomfortable with things like that. But I guess I have no choice.

I was moving forward but now it feels like I’ve run out of gas. Not only schooling (which could lead to a potential job) but the relationship with my friends and my writing. At least it wasn’t a jarring screech. I can still move forward. I really just need to foster that momentum. Maybe by next month I’ll have something to show for it. Now? I don’t know.

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