Currently – 6/26/19 (Shocked, Anxious, Unsure)

So… I finished my paper today. I know that’s not really that momentous of a thing considering I don’t even think its more than twelve pages long but… I mean this is really huge for me. I’ve never really finished anything so this is a major boost for me. However I feel really weird. Like I’m not sure where to go from here or what could become of it.

Alright so the process isn’t fully finished. The paper is complete and all I need to do is self publish it on Amazon as well as make out a cover for it. But apart from that the hardest part of this is done. I’m not sure what I should price it at as its fairly short in length and its more of a research paper than anything. I was thinking a dollar but now that I say that it feels somehow too much.

Right now I feel very strange like this wasn’t even a possibility. I feel like I’ve crossed a threshold of some kind and now I’m able to move forward. This is really unusual and I’m not sure how to deal with this. I’m thinking maybe this will go away once I finally publish it but another part is telling me that I’ll continue to feel weird if I actually make money off of this.

I think either way I’ve opened up a new path for myself. Something different has happened. Almost like something has woken up inside me. I don’t want to lose this feeling. Its not pleasant but its much better than feeling numb. This could be my ticket to the future. I really want to explore this feeling for as long as I can.

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