Currently – 6/13/19 (Damage, Disappointment, Resolve)

Really disappointed with myself today, even though I know it was out of my control (to some degree). Woke up in pretty significant pain from previous day’s work. Mostly just my neck, back, legs and arm. Basically just “All of the things I would use to work feel bad”. I called up my boss to say I wasn’t coming in which I knew wasn’t going to go over well but he was surprisingly decent about the situation. This job is really taking a toll on my body but I feel like I need to work around that personally. It seems like a decent job with a lot of learning potential and growth for the future so I want to actually do well at this.

The main reason why I’m disappointed is because not only is this REALLY early on in this job that I’ve already called in sick but its a pattern I used to engage in with my last job. Of course there were a few times where I was physically unable to come in but other times I just wasn’t feeling like it due to personal/home problems so I used sick days as an excuse to unwind. I’ve really been trying to get away from doing that for various obvious reasons and I definitely don’t want to take that with me into the rest of my adult life.

I’ve been pretty much beating myself up all day because of this, not to say that I did this because I was lazy I did have good and legitimate reasons. I want to be a responsible adult that does the job well and is thought of as a good worker. Partially because the pay would most likely be better but also I’m just tired of being a slacker. That stuff was… not fine but somewhat acceptable in my early years but I’m getting to that point where most people settle down and get into the groove of who they are and all that. I don’t want to be a slacker.

So for this resolution I am going to make myself promise to not screw around. I need to be a better person. I need to put in the effort to make this work. I’m going to use this job as an opportunity to benefit myself. I’m going to become a better more diligent person. I want to succeed. I want to excel. I’m going to give this my utmost amount of effort to be the best employee and person that I can be.

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