Currently – 6/5/19 (Hope, Motivation, Acceptance)

My last post was a bit down, I can fully admit that. At the time I was feeling extremely low and unsure of myself. Depression does that to you. I have this saying I like to use: “Depression keeps you from doing the things that would help you get over your depression.” General lethargy, lack of motivation, sadness, crippling loneliness. At least that’s how it is for me. I think the biggest problem I have is that not only do I know how to get out of that funk but I can easily do it. Depression is sort of like being locked in a cage of your own mind while you hold the key in your hand but you just don’t have the energy to unlock it.

Personally it helps to distract myself from feeding into those feelings. It doesn’t always help but I feel its better to do something than just sit and wallow. That’s part of the reason I want to get a new job. Apart from the obvious monetary factor its just something for me to keep my mind off of my depression. And I like to go to new places and try new things. Life is short so fill it with experiences. Having money definitely helps with that and being unemployed leaves you with little opportunities.

After feeling down I took a nap and woke up feeling a bit better, mentally speaking. For whatever reason I decided to try more job searching. I widened my field a bit and found something actually pretty decent. A job that pays more than I was currently getting and the hours seemed decent with full benefits and paid vacation time. It sounded like a dream. I took the initiative to apply for the job and, to my surprise, I actually got a response. Not necessarily a call for an interview but at least it’s something. It gave me just a bit of hope, however small.

With this feeling of elation I started to feel a little more motivated as well. For a while I’ve wanted to become an author and write my own book but its difficult. I think I’ve talked about this before so I won’t elaborate much further. In any case while I haven’t made any progress on a book I feel like putting pen to paper, so to speak. A drive that I’m definitely going to foster as much as I can. If the words can flow as easily as it does here on this blog then I should be alright. Who knows, you might even see one of my works on a book shelf somewhere.

There was that famous quote from JFK, something along the lines of “Don’t pray for easier lives; pray to be stronger men”. Life is difficult, I don’t think I need to tell you that. You’ll end up having more bad days than good and it can be difficult just to accept that fact. No matter how hard you try or how much effort you put in sometimes it just doesn’t pan out how you expected it to. Accepting this fact can ultimately make you happier, or at the very least give you perspective and not fight against every bump in the road. Sometimes things just happen and if you can adapt to it then you’ll end up living a much more fulfilling and happy life. This is just a stepping stone, your road doesn’t end here.

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